The great beer-tasting

Oktoberfest Beer Tasting

“This has been a bad idea from the very start.”, you say aloud.

“No, no, come on.”, you hear Walter say as he stands in front of you, waving his arms, his red hat flopping back and forth on his head. “Come on, Bertram, s-say something! Tell him this isn’t a bad idea at all!”

Bertram strokes his white beard solemnly before saying thoughtfully: “I always thought this was a bad idea. I was just in it for the free beer.”

“Bollocks!” a third voice blurts out. Tilda comes waddling over, her tiny face all red and puffy. “You old gruff! Quit your yapping!”, she exclaims as she threatens Bertram with a cooking spoon. “And you!” she points her wooden weapon up to you. “Don’t you go sulking around now! You ain’t have the time for all this self-pity stuff! Get your head screwed back on, or I’ll do it for you.” Tilda’s words are sobering as always, and even the grumpy Bertram looks a bit livelier. “You are probably right.”, you say slowly, looking down at the three gnomes gathered before your feet. “Course I am right!” agrees Tilda with a note of satisfaction in her voice. “Now, get your machinery together and get going!”

You look over at the jumble of pipes and cauldrons that make up your homemade brewing station and take a deep breath. Then, you get up and begin loading your truck. The gnomes chase after you in their curious, investigative manner. You have known them all your life since you moved in with your grandparents, and they have become your friends. In the last couple of months, they have been especially interested in your doings after you had started brewing beer. You began with an old home brewing machine you bought cheaply because you thought it would make a great gag for a friend’s birthday. And while the first beer you brewed was terrible and the delight at the party accordingly great, you found an interest in the art of brewing. After half a year of working on your brewing craft and machine, your equipment began to look almost professional, and your beer began tasting like ale instead of nine-month-old coffee.

The gnomes were very excited by this development of your hobbies. The three foremost invested in your new aspiration were Tilda, Walter, and Bertram. Tilda, being more of the motherly type, was probably just happy to see you pick up and follow through with a hobby, instead of abandoning it halfway again. Bertram, one of the older gnomes, might have been there just for the beer, for all you know. And of course, there was Walter, a gnome so young that he didn’t even have a proper beard just yet, always full of energy and always looking for an adventure. He probably saw all this as one big game. These three were your companions in your every beer-making move, offering ideas, distraction, or motivation, usually unrequested.

Finally sitting behind the steering wheel in your car, you sigh. You remember how one day the three of them brought you this damn pamphlet of free beer testing. Get your beer tested by official beer tester Boris McSip! had been printed in big letters on the front. The back had contained the startling revelation that if the beer tester liked your beer enough, he might recommend it for the Oktoberfest this year. Of course, you took the bait. Inspired by the recent praise of your friends for your beer, you applied to the beer tasting and began working like crazy to perfect your beer flavors. According to Bertram, who had tested each one of your beers, you had perfected your ale now, but you weren’t quite sure, whether his judgment hadn’t been clouded by all the alcohol.

The next hour seems to pass by you like a dream. You pull into the parking slot in front of the place where the beer tasting will be held. You get out of the car and begin moving your equipment into the testing hall. Awe-struck you discover that the beer testing will be held in a giant empty beer barrel, almost the size of a house. You are all set up and ready to go. The gnomes cheer you on, and the last thing you remember is Walter calling: “You got this!”. Then a deep voice says your name, and you are up next!

Start brewing and impress the beer tester with your ale alchemy! Brew beer, get it evaluated, and create new flavors in The great beer tasting room!