Coping with Grief

COPING WITH GRIEF

We have all experienced the loss of a loved one, pets, divorce, end of a relationship, loss of a job or material things. No one is exempt from experiencing grief. Grief is experienced by everyone in different ways. Grief comes in stages. There is no time limit when experiencing grief.

What is grief? “Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away.” There are different kinds of emotions associated with grief: shock, anger, disbelief, guilt and profound sadness. The pain of grief affects your physical health – many of us can’t sleep, eat or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss – and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.

Grief is not only caused by the death of a loved one (the most intense type of grief); but any loss can cause grief:

  1. Divorce or a relationship break up

  2. Loss of health

  3. Losing a job

  4. Loss of financial stability

  5. A miscarriage

  6. Retirement

  7. Death of a pet

  8. Loss of a cherished dream

  9. A loved one’s serious illness

  10. Loss of a friendship

  11. Loss of safety after a trauma

  12. Selling the family home (or Foreclosure)

The Grieving Process: There is no right or wrong way to grieve because grieving is an individual experience. There is no “normal” timetable for grieving because grieving takes time and each individual grieves differently.

(Excerpts from: Helpguide.org)

According to Health.com, everyone grieves differently, but there are some commonalities in the stages and the order of feelings experienced during grief.

Ways to cope with your loss:

For me, whether it is a family member or a pet family member, I have grieved/mourned for each loss at different paces and at different ways. For example: When my father passed away from colon cancer many years ago, I was devastated. I was daddy’s girl since a small child and he was my everything. His death impacted me so heavily that it took me many years to stop grieving for my loss. It was the most saddest time of my life when I cried so much whenever I thought of him and our many happy memories together and as a family. I, honestly, thought I would never stop being sad, lonely and stop crying. And then the same situation occurred when I lost my beloved pet poodle of 12 years, Shorty Boy. He never made it during his surgery. We got Shorty Boy when he was only 8 weeks old and he was my constant companion, or shall I say: shadow. He followed me everywhere in the home. He was a beloved part of our family and so loved by all of us. His death was sudden and it took me a very long time grieving for him. Recently, last year, I lost my beloved sister to a brutal murder. It was both shocking and difficult to believe. I still miss my dad, my mother, my sister and my dog. For each of my losses, including my most traumatic divorce, the grieving process and the duration were so different.

As I did my extensive research on the topic of grief, I discovered many easy ways we can cope with our loss, whether the loss is for a loved one, a marriage/relationship, a pet a job, etc. Here are some ways to cope with loss:

According to cancer.net:

  • Allow yourself to experience the pain of loss. Allow yourself to grieve and experience your feelings: shock, sadness, anger, loneliness. Never feel guilty about the way you feel, thinking you should “get over it”. Remember this: Everyone grieves differently and at a different pace. There is no such “time frame” for the grieving process. Allow yourself as much time you need to grieve your loss.

  • Talk with others: For some people, talking about their loss and sadness with others may help, but for others who have difficulty sharing their feelings with others, these peoples want to set aside private time every day to spend time thinking about their loved ones. For me, this really helped me to cope with my losses: writing a tribute to my deceased relatives and my pet gave me an extreme comfort and peace. I even read them out aloud to other members in my family and to my close friends. Whenever I felt sad, lonely and missing them terribly, I would read the tribute I wrote to them, again and again. This has helped me in my grieving process tremendously. Try it. It will work for you too.

  • Forgive yourself: Forgive yourself for the things you regret doing or saying and for the things you regret not doing or saying to your deceased loved ones. But instead, focus on the good memories of them only.

  • Find new creative outlets or engage in physical activity. Take up a new hobby, learn a foreign language, enroll in art classes or learn how to play a musical instrument. What worked for me: the creation of a daily journal – being able to write all your thoughts, feelings, memories in a journal and doing this daily. You will be able to handle your grieving period – by re-reading your daily journal entries, whenever you feel overwhelmed with sadness, loneliness and feel like crying. Your daily entries will give you a peace and allow you to cope better with your grief and you will be able to see how your grief has changed during the course of your grieving process.

Always remember that: each and every one of us handles loss and go through the grieving process differently and at different paces. Just like the fact that we are all unique and different.

If any of the above mentioned suggestions do not work for you or help you, consider joining a support group for peoples who have experienced the loss of loved ones, etc. Support groups offer you the chance to talk with others who are all experiencing some kind of loss, whether it be a loved one, a death of a marriage/relationship, or the loss of a beloved family pet, a job, etc.

Just always remember this: Cry if you have to. Never hold back your tears. Each person will grieve at a different pace for each stage of grief and always the duration of grief differs for each loss.

I hope all of the above information helps any of you who are experiencing grief right now and or have experienced grief in the past to understand the grieving process and ways to cope with grief.

So until we meet again, keep on smiling, dancing, and meeting new peoples at our daily events. If you see me around on Smeet, please do not hesitate to say hi and if you have a question or would like to have me write on a topic that was never covered in any of my published articles on our Smeet blog, please send me a message in private. Always remember this: LOVE one another for Love conquers everything. God bless. <3

SAYURI, EN Journalist


 

Conteúdo recente