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What to do when you’ve been dumped by EN Journalist Sayuri

We all have either been dumped or dumped our partner some time in our lifetime.  It is the most traumatic experience for the person who is on the receiving end of being informed that the relationship is over.  Especially if he/she had absolutely no inkling that their partner wanted to end it.   So how do we cope and why did this happen.

Tips on how to cope with a heartbreak:

Take time to grieve the death of your relationship.  The length of the grieving process depends entirely on you.  Here are some tips on how to move on:

Place your focus not on your recent loss but focus on helping others in your community:  such as, becoming a volunteer for your church, your neighborhood, or a specific organization that  is close to your heart; get a new hobby, surround yourselves with positive  people who will encourage and lift your spirit up.   Some of you may need to seek out professional support from a licensed therapist.  Go out every day either early morning or late evening and exercise.  Walking is something any one can do without having to pay a lot of monies to become a member of a fitness/gym club.  Walking provides us with so many great beneficial results to our being healthy.    Just a simple 30 minute walk every day will help tremendously for your entire body and mind.  Get rid of ALL the momentos:  photos, videos, anything that will continue to keep your mind on the relationship memories and on your ex.

Why did this happen?   First of all, do NOT try to analyze and figure out why, such as;   did I do anything wrong that made my partner dump me?   Could I have tried to salvage the relationship in lieu of a break up/divorce?   Analyzing and deep thinking of reasons why there was a break up will only lead into depression or if one is already depressed, into a deeper depression state.   So, instead, focus and dwell your mind on these positive and uplifting quotes:

“I believe that everything happens for a reason.   People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong, so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so BETTER THINGS AN FALL TOGETHER.”  (Marilyn Monroe)

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”*

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly  on the path to the Best Things that will ever happen to us.”*

(*Author Unknown)

“Eventually all things fall into place.  Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING happens for a reason.”  (Albert Schweitzer)

Also,  many times we go through a relationship break up with our partners because he/she is not the right person for you.   Love is a wonderful thing and Love never never hurts us.  However, it is people who hurt us.  Finding Mr./Ms Right is not an easy task.   Often, even after a long dating period and a long engagement does not show us all the red flags about our partners.   After officially becoming married, red flags become clearly evident.  But, by then, it is too late.  You are both married.  There are no guarantees that your current partner is Mr./Ms. Right.   But as I always have mentioned in ALL of my previous articles about relationships, there are key ingredients that every relationship MUST have in order for it to have longevity and a successful and happy marriage.   Some of these ingredients are:  Respect for each other, Effective communication with a solution for every problem/issue with both parties agreeing on that solution, Trust, Loyalty/Commitment to your Partner only, Love.  

Many couples think they have communication in their relationships, but I always stress effective communication with a solution for every single problem, or issue that arises with both parties agreeing to that solution.   It is so easy to just give each other the “silent” treatment, which I, personally, despise.  Why?  By not discussing what bothers you to your partner, only makes things worst.  To keep things that bother you, bottled up inside of you without sharing how you feel and why you are upset about a certain problem/issue will most definitely create distance between the two of you and will quickly escalate into a worst situation.  So always be able to open up to your partner and always share everything with him/her.   After all,  your partner if your best friend and if one cannot communicate properly with your partner, it creates distance and more problems.  

I have always said in my past articles that relationships are very hard work and BOTH partners must be willing to work at it not 50-50 but 100 % effort from each.   Learn to fix things as soon as it occurs and never have the mentality that you want to just give up. 

Hope all the above information will help you all.  Until we meet again, always keep smiling, keep dancing and keep meeting new peoples at our events.  Click the calendar icon located on the bottom of your computer screen and go out and meet new peoples and enjoy this most wonderful global online chat community:  Smeet.  

If you see me around on Smeet, please say hi and If you have any relationship questions you are interested in reading about or any other specific topics that have not been published yet.  Please message me in private and I will surely answer your question/concern in my next article.  Love one another because Love conquers everything.   God bless you all.  <3

SAYURI, EN Journalist, ID#13520497

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